Here’s A Tip

When someone is angry about a situation in which blame is difficult to apportion, never say that you’re sorry.  That person will feel justified in their anger and get more angry. At you.

Saying nothing will allow them to mull the idea that they are the cause of their problems.  They may very well end up apologizing to you.


~ by Joshing on May 7, 2008.

6 Responses to “Here’s A Tip”

  1. I’m thinking about how I can retroactively apply this lesson to freshman year in college.

  2. I’m sorry.

  3. This is something I learned in Korea. The hard way! I used to use the word ‘sorry’ in 2 different situations: the first to indicate that, yes, I was to blame and that I a) felt bad and b) would endevour to be a better person. The second context was more vague – sort of my (i felt) polite way of saying “wow, a bad thing has happened. That’s too bad. I feel sorry”.

    The latter isn’t common to Korean culture and after being verbally or emotionally ripped to shreds by seething, blame-seeking friends, co-workers or even my spouse, I quickly learned to ration my apologies.

    This is a looong comment and may have *nothing* to do with your main point. I obviously have residual issues. ^^


  4. Jeff,
    You totally blew my mind with that comment. You’re exactly right, I did this to you, way back when.

    Zenkimchi Joe,
    You bastard!

    That’s just what I’m talking about. Yeah, in Korea you have to be really stingy with apologies. It seems sometimes like it’s better to just watch the emotional storm pass without apologizing and just live through it.

  5. Not really, but it was worth a shot. It’s always fun to prove yourself right after 8 years.

  6. Hi

    I am a publisher of THE EAST; the only English newspaper, which is mainly focused on the East Asian information (at the beginning of every month, more than 12,000 free copies are distributed throughout the London area, particularly, where East Asian Networks are established).

    I looked at your blog the other day and have been wondering if there would be any chance that we could publish some of your interesting articles on the paper.
    We think some of your blog articles should be very helpful to the Westners who are interested in Asian Culture.
    The East cannot afford to pay for your articles right now (as we are non-profitable organisation). However, if you wish, we can still offer you:
    1. Advertising space
    2. Link to THE EAST web site blog section

    We look forward to hearing from you shortly.

    Many thanks and kind regards,

    Hyung Wook Lee

    THE EAST, The East Asian Monthly Business Newspaper,
    Elephant Consulting Limited, 37 Charter Court, Linden Grove,
    New Malden, Surrey, KT3 3BN, UK
    Tel : + 44 (0) 7912 608 321 / Web site: / E mail :
    Registered in England & Wales, Company No. 6254454

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